I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
whose parrot is this?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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