my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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