Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I love you. Go after that dick
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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