He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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