I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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