could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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