To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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