so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
