woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
