If that was your dad, he is hot
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
