I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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