Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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