and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize