There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
