can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
