I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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