They should really pass out barf bags in church
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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