We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
