My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
