Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
