we have officially lost it.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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