I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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