you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
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Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
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Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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