This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off