the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack