also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out