I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress