Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
two words...techno handjob
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy