So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
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Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
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I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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