i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
