I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Farmville is her only friend.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
