it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Actions speak louder than pants.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How external is "for external use only"?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
