I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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