Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
