idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
