you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
