just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
