im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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