Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i need some magic done to my vagina
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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