opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
