get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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