the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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