Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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