What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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