bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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