Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
