Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
NoShamevember. You game?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
