I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
