sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
