He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
