toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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