I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
she told me i tasted like america
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize