Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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