I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
