last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
