don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
