I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
