if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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