I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
