I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
