Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
