I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
