I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
