Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
