So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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