I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
