I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
