Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
